


Bayonetta and Jeanne: One Shots. Also, Bayonetta is... Bae

by JadeHeart



Category: Bayonetta (Video Games)
Genre: Bayonetta - Freeform, F/F, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Sexy Times, Witches, idk - Freeform, lol, not really - Freeform, umbra witches
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-10-11 02:19:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17438054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeHeart/pseuds/JadeHeart
Summary: based on the embarassingly overly sexual video game Bayonetta and Bayonetta movie. Takes place after Bayonetta 2 game ending. But also one shots before the ending and pre-clan wars.





	1. after the fight they resume shopping

**Author's Note:**

> I also headcanon that Bayonetta wore a pink dress in the beginning of Bayonetta 2 to represent her development with Jeanne who's color is red and Bayonetta's original white dress. White and red makes pink which is Bayonetta's dress color at the end of the game.
> 
> bayonetta-is-bae.tumblr.com

“What a great way to ring in the new year, right Jeanne?” Bayonetta said as she stowed her guns and brushed off some dirt off her shoulders. The dust had settled. The air was clear. Not an angel in sight. The earth seemed still for once.

“Oh, waltzing and swinging with you is always a...” she paused to think of her word choices, " **favorite past time of mine** ,” Jeanne said as she picked off the feather from one of the dead angels from her hair. She let it rest in her palm and blew it away. Bayonetta watched her, the white feather floating away and found Jeanne so attractive when she did things like that. Maybe this was a good time for some alone time with Jeanne...

“I like making sure that you don’t forget your best dance moves, my dear,” Bayonetta said steamily with a wink. 

Jeanne looked at her. She smirked knowing what Bayonetta was hinting at with that comment. “Very funny, Cereza, after I’ve waited 500 years trying to get you up to speed with your own... choreography.” She looked at Bayonetta’s silhouette and she felt a familiar ache inside of her. She fought it back and said, “if only you weren’t so painstakingly slow…”

“I cleaned up pretty nicely in the end, don’t you think?” Bayonetta said. 

Jeanne could give her that. But she wouldn’t say it. “Sometimes it was a shot through the dark,” she bantered.

Bayonetta had a slight smile on her face as she reached to adjust her glasses with one hand. “Give me another chance then…” Bayonetta slowly sauntered towards her, slowly formed a finger gun and shot an imaginary bullet at her and blew the fake smoke from the tip of her finger. 

Jeanne scoffed and let out a fake whimper, “Oh no I’ve been shot by Bayonetta. The betrayal! All is lost!” 

“Well, I hope the wait was worth it?” Bayonetta said, elongating her syllables. 

Jeanne eyed Bayonetta’s lips but then shot back “Silly,” Jeanne said casually as she slightly tossed her head, exposing her long graceful neck. She crossed her arms and turned her back towards Bayonetta. Resisting her seemed to be harder now that she could finally catch a breath after defeating literal gods that wanted to end the world. 

The moment was lost when they spotted someone familiar flailing his hands in the air approaching closer and closer.

“Hey, hey hey!” a fat short Italian man came running towards them from the wreckage on the street. “My plane! Look what you did to my plane! You know your tab is running, Bayonetta you demon witch! You owe me a damn good plane!” Enzo huffed. His coat was covered in ashes and his five-o clock shadow was accentuated with several splotches of smoke on his face. 

"Oh, Enzo. If you had been a good lackey and carrying my things as we shopped, you wouldn’t have this problem, now would you?” Bayonetta said with a mock pout. 

“What and leave my plane in the middle of that cursed airfield? Ya didn’t give me a lot of choices!” he said shaking his fist.

“You had many choices, dear Enzo," Jeanne said as she sucked on a lollipop. “You could have gone shopping with us while we tried on so many clothes, taking them on and off, on and off,” Jeanne said tauntingly without her eyes leaving Bayonetta. She then bent down to Enzo who was literally maybe half her size-- who knows -- to emphasize what she was going to say next, "and all in the same dressing room” she said in a low, hushed voice.

Enzo felt himself begin to salivate. And things got very hot. Hot indeed, as he pulled his collar away from his neck. “Oh, well, uh,” he stammered. Then he remembered these were the two witches who came back from the dead and had all these magical powers. “Hey, get your powers of seduction out of my pants!” he said heatedly. “Yeezus, I need to call my wife.” He shook his head to get the images of the two women together out of his head. He had a wife for peep sakes!

“Oh, pray do call her to join the party.” Bayonetta said. “I don’t mind a threesome.” She stifled a laugh.

He did a double take and again, his mind was flooded with images. “A threesome?! That’s my wife you’re talking about here!” His forehead was sweating now as he fought conflicting urges. 

“Three’s a company Enzo. I’ve extended the invitation,” Bayonetta said as she proceeded to walk away. 

He stamped his foot. “you witches---!”

“Oh, and Enzo,” Jeanne said cutting him off as she followed Bayonetta. “We’re not seducing you, trust me. Your pants do the talking on their own.” 

 

As they sauntered down the sidewalk, the common people were giving them weird looks and staring at them as they passed by. 

“Time to go shopping, Bayonetta.” Jeanne said.

“I need a new dress.” She said as she passed by the windows of storefronts, looking in casually. 

“Third time’s the charm.” Jeanne said as she scrutinized a long, red gown in the shop window. They entered a brightly lit formal gown boutique.

“You’re telling me. I was quite fond of the first one. It was a white flowing gown, captured me at the right angles without making me out like a giant hippo.” Bayonetta said.

“Oh Cereza, you know you can rock any white dress. What I really liked was the pink one.”

“Really? From what I can recall you said that it was a bit tacky, the white fur collar. You know how it plunged.” She said. Bayonetta made a large v-shape down on her front side. 

“I was concerned that that white fur would be soiled quite quickly.” Jeanne said as she started going through the dresses.

“Oh, pish posh. I’m very clean. It’s you that I’m worried about my golden princess,” Bayonetta said adoringly.

“And why would you think that?” Jeanne said half expecting the answer as she unhooked a dress from the rack, examining the beading and the rhinestones.

“No goblins are here to wait on you hand and foot anymore,” Bayonetta said as she waltzed from one wall to the another of the boutique.

“I’m sure we can find some in Vigrid,” she turned Bayonetta around and measured the dress against her body. “Enzo’s not much of a help anyway.” 

“You’re open to having servants in our own home?” Bayonetta held out her arms reflexively but was looking at Jeanne skeptically.

“As long as they stay out of the way.” Jeanne answered a bit distractedly as she thought about what size dress would fit. “Hmm, we may need some customization on this one... what do you think?”

“They’ll be everywhere, Jeanne. In our own home.”

Jeanne twirled Bayonetta around towards a mirror. “Oh, don’t get yourself in a tizzy.” She held another dress up against Bayonetta, this one was a deep red gown that cascaded towards the floor. “I think we’ll have to get this one altered.” She said as she wrapped the waistline around Bayonetta’s unnaturally small waist. The extra material overlapped.

“I’m being serious Jeanne. When I get home these days all I want is a nice glass of wine, some music, and time with my golden princess,” Bayonetta cooed. “I don’t want some servants scurrying around watching my every move.”

Jeanne sighed. The thought of having to cook, clean, and do all these things when she was a dark witch that could slice a hundred angel heads under five seconds irritated her. She could learn house spells but why would she ever want to do that? 

“oh, Cereza what are you worried about? They aren’t going to walk in on us or anything.” 

She noticed in the mirror an overweight salesman in the corner appeared a bit flustered as he glanced back and forth from the clothing racks to the two umbra witches. Jeanne had her hands on Bayonetta’s waist and was very close to her. “They can walk in. I don’t care who’s watching.” Bayonetta said in a seductive tone.

Jeanne, smiling, seemed to catch on as she leaned in closer to Bayonetta’s ear. “But I care,” Jeanne said as her hand slided up her leg.

In a blink of an eye, the salesman’s work suit was sliced down the middle and his belt was undone, pants fell on the floor exposing his heart print boxers. He let out a small yelp as he scurried away. 

They both chuckled as Jeanne sheathed her dagger and rested her head on Bayonetta’s shoulder, admiring the red dream in the mirror.


	2. A Journal Entry

_A_ _Journal_ _Entry_

_You brought me to the place where they kept all Umbran treasures and asked me if I had felt at home, a playful glint in your eye because me being kept in a stone-cold prison cell from birth was somehow the same._

_I laughed._

_The heaping piles of gold, emeralds, sapphires, pearls, and opals were as tall as we were._

_They shined and glittered fiercely but the material treasures could not ignite anything within me._

_It was only when I looked into your eyes that I felt warmth in this cold world._

_And it was from that moment on that I felt grateful to have you in my life,_

_a life filled with words spewed against me_

_Hatred and spite_

_From being branded an_

_impure blooded_

_outcast._

_-Cereza_

 

* * *

“What about this red gemstone, Cereza?” 

 


	3. We carved our names in stone

Jeanne held her arms tight across her. Her breast pocket poking her, a red jewel nestled in there.

The winds were whipping through the hallways, windows shuttering. The uncharacteristic winds howled in the late afternoon. 

The bone chilling weather made her regret leaving the warmth of her chambers. But she needed to tell Cereza something, and Cereza's cell was far away. 

Her heels clacked down the hallway as she sped walked, avoiding the dust spewing up from these darker corners.

Suddenly a gust of wind blew her off balance and her face slammed against cold bars. When the stars had vanished from her vision and the throbbing pain subsided, she opened her eyes to see an empty prison cell. 

Good, Cereza wasn't there or else she'd probably laugh, Jeanne thought to herself as she picked herself up. 

Where had she gone anyway? 

Jeanne looked at her watch. Cereza was visiting her mother at this time. Cereza's mother was kept in a cell on the far other side. Mother and daughter kept at opposite ends.

A cruel thing to do, Jeanne thought. She kicked away debris gathering around Cereza's cell, making a mental note to tell the servants to be more thorough in these quarters. 

 She heard an umbran guard approaching. The heiress reluctantly decided to walk back to her chambers, fighting a nagging feeling to stay.

Engrossed in the thoughts of the cruelty of the Umbra and what that meant to her as the heiress to this legacy, Jeanne had barely noticed that something was missing by the time that she had reached her chambers again. 

Upon closing the door to her room and removing her inner lapel, she felt it. Or rather, the lack of its presence.

The blood seemed to drain from her face as she frantically searched her pockets, everywhere. 

"Damn it!" she cursed, sprinting out of the room.

Losing it was one thing.

But their names.

 

The jewel was missing. And she had their names inscribed into it.

 

* * *

 

A guard approached Cereza’s cell, doing her normal rounds of checking on the prisoners. It was empty. The wind blew and made her sneeze.

When she opened her eyes, a shining gemstone revealed itself, rolling into her view. 

What was the prisoner doing with this? She immediately unlocked the cell and confiscated it. 

* * *

 

"Why do you possess this gem from the Umbran treasury?! How did you manage to open its sealed doors?!" The matron demanded from the girl kneeling before her. The girl did not raise her head to speak. She kept her head down, staring at the stone cold floor. Her mask concealing her contempt for the matron. They tore her away without explanation in the middle of her visitation with her mother, one of the few chances she had to be with her. Were the shackles really necessary? Her fingers fidgeted with them.

“If you do not answer me you insolent child I will have to resort to other means!” She threatened, her voice echoing through the congregation.

“I am not a child,” Cereza muttered.

The older woman rose her hand to strike but stopped. "Do not touch her!" one of the witches behind Cereza spoke. 

Cereza furtively glanced behind her. There were two witch guards behind her, one intensely gripping something that Cereza couldn't see while the other held the shining jewel. "If you touch her, the impurity will spread onto you," the witch said, offering what she had in her hands. Cereza could see now that it was a whip.

"Oo, found another way to torture me?" Cereza said suggestively.

"Silence!" Jeanne's mother, a matronly woman who sat upon the throne in the shadows of the room, rose. The umbran witches bowed their heads. Cereza didn't budge. 

The umbran leader waved her hand to signal that they could lift their heads. She waltzed over to the red gemstone. Picking it up gingerly with two fingers from the witch guard's outstretched palm, she examined it. Looking for something.

Then with a look of disgust she threw it back with so much force, the witch nearly dropped it as it bounced from her hand. 

The queenly woman turned and glared at the witch kneeling before her, hooded and masked.

Cereza saw white, glowing tresses of hair fall into her line of sight. It reminded her of Jeanne's.

"You, an impure blooded witch," she began, seething. Her chest rapidly rising and falling from the uncontrollable anger within her. "Tainting our... treasuries is the last thing the Umbran legacy needs! Your... thievery will not go unpunished!" The disgust was palpable.

Then she crouched down to Cereza's eye level. 

Cereza didn't lift her eyes to meet her. She fixated on the red, shining boots inches away from her knees.

The congregation gasped in disbelief. Did the head of the Umbra really just crouch down? Down to _her_ level?

Then she outstretched her hand, motioning for the witch guard to hand her the punishing device.

The congregation's level of blood lust skyrocketed through the roof. They rallied, booing and screaming with delight.

"Is there no end to the vile ways of your family?!"

At the mention of the word family, Cereza lunged at her. The Umbran leader shifted back, the hurt and contempt in Cereza's eyes burned through her soul. The two witch guards restrained her just in time. 

Cereza resisted an urge to spit in her face.

The umbran leader was taken aback. Perhaps she had an inkling of empathy. But then she glowered at the girl before her. She was no child. The congregation shouted horrible things, demanding justice. 

 She raised her hand, ready to unleash the punishment.

"Wait!" a young girl's voice cried. 

The congregation ceased their jeering and bowed their heads. It was the umbran princess. 

Her mother glared at her daughter. What impeccable timing.

"That jewel is mine!" Jeanne said. She snatched it away from the witch guard's hands as if she had stolen it from her. The witch guard shrunk in fear.

"Jeanne, what is the meaning of this?" she hissed. Her eyes searching her daughter's. 

"I dropped it," she said innocently. "I forgotten about it...The wind must have blown it her way." 

And as if nature had heard her, a gust of wind swept through the room. She cracked a small grin, how lucky of her.

Cereza veiled her smile. 

But the matron could not have her treasury be compromised. "Then can you please explain what you were doing in the Umbran treasury and why did you take this jewel?"

"Can you really deny a girl's need for jewelry?" Jeanne said, crossing her arms. "I have a collection, you know."

"Really, Jeanne, do not embarass me in front of the congregation," her mother whispered to her angrily. "You know you can have all the jewels you want," and then her eyes seemed to say "but you're lying to me and I know it." 

Jeanne felt a bubble of panic that she suppressed. Did her mother know about them? She cannot know.

"But I shall punish the outcast for touching my things!" she snatched the whip from her mother's hands and held it up to the congregation.

The congregation once again roared into applause. Her mother smiled approvingly, entertaining the possibility that Jeanne was innocent and that Cereza had engraved their names into the stone without Jeanne knowing. Her own beloved daughter could never love the impure blooded outcast. She cared about the legacy too much. That she knew was true. Her allegiance to the umbran way was as sure as the moon. Mingling with impurities! The blasphemy!

Cereza was crestfallen but she braced for impact. "You can't be serious," she said, a bit hurt but what could she expect given the circumstances.

Jeanne looked down at her, veiling her regret at what she was about to do. "You know, I am," Jeanne said but without the hatred one might expect. In fact, it was almost tender. She dropped the gemstone on the floor, in front of Cereza.

The light shined on it, the gem cast a small but vibrant red teardrop that spelled out words on the pavement. Cereza squinted and bent down to read the tiny inscription:

_Jeanne x Cereza_

Then she heard the whip crack and an explosion blasted her away.


	4. we carved our names in stone part 2

When the rubble cleared, Jeanne sprang to her feet. She held up the whip which hung like a shredded, lifeless snake.

Jeanne was the first to break the silence, or rather she was the first to pick herself up. She snuck the gemstone back into her lapel before announcing, “the gemstone was cursed! Who put a cursed gemstone in the treasury?”

 The congregation was moaning from pain. Necks craned and backs bent, they started to regain their senses.

Shell shocked, the matron blinked her eyes several times as a girl in red hovered in front of her face. “How did you not know the Umbran treasury was harboring a cursed gemstone? And you were protecting it?!” the red blur seemed to be screaming at her, shaking her furiously.

Jeanne’s mother brushed her away from the matron. “Go. Now.” The queenly woman said through gritted teeth to her daughter, unable to look at her in the eyes.

Jeanne turned away. She searched for Cereza, hoping that the gemstone had protected her somehow.

She saw a hooded figure, limping down a dark hallway toward the prison cells. A lump in her throat, she ran towards her.

But her mother stepped in front of her, blocking her path. Appearing to aid a fallen witch, the umbran lead picked her up by the arm and handed her over to Jeanne. “Why don’t you take this witch to the hospital wing?” she commanded, throwing her into Jeanne’s direction.

 “She’s a full blood,” her mother whispered to her angrily. “Or that one? Or that one?” She pointed frustratingly.

As if Jeanne would turn her focus from one witch to the next, her mother was sending her a message about being promiscuous. It disgusted her.

Jeanne begrudgingly took the unconscious witch, all the while glaring at her mother.

 “Is everyone alright? We will need to inspect the umbran treasury for more cursed jewels. It seems the imbalance in the worlds have caused some oversight…” Her mother’s voice faded away as Jeanne hurriedly up the stairs to the hospital wing.

She handed the witch over to the shocked nurse. “What happened? Did the sages attack us?”

“No,” Jeanne cut her off, “and you will cease your questions,” she turned to leave. But she backtracked, grabbing a gauze and ointment from a magical cabinet. Then she left.

The nurse nodded obediently at the umbran princess.

She made her way back to the congregation, leapt across above, a red blur soaring above the congregation.

"Cereza!" Jeanne cried desperately as she spotted Cereza in her cell, worried that the blast caused Cereza injury.

Cereza slowly rose up from the floor and gripped the prison bars.

Jeanne searched the raven-haired witch, looking for any signs of open wounds.

After a moment, she was vexed. Cereza was fine. Wasn’t she just limping earlier?

She looked up and saw Cereza’s eyes, framed by the veil. There was no fear but just jest. _Jest_. The limping was all an act.

Jeanne sighed a breath of relief, releasing all her worry onto the prison bars as she fell onto them. “That limping of yours was quite convincing.”

“I’m glad. Consider it even.” The harshness in her voice was quite abrasive to Jeanne’s ears.

Jeanne pursed her lips. “Even?”

“I don’t know but being publicly flogged because of that red jewel isn’t exactly what I had in mind for this afternoon. How did it end up in here?”

“I inscribed our names in it. I wanted to show you, but ---”

“So, I wasn’t imagining things!” Cereza said with relief. She didn’t have much time to absorb the possibility that Jeanne had their names inscribed into the gemstone in that split second before the blast. But now, she understood and she believed Jeanne.

Her voice softer, she placed her hand on Jeanne’s through the prison bars.

“I’d call my limping a stroke of genius but I’ll reserve that one for you,” she said softly. “I’m curious about how you managed to make our little red jewel blow up the congregation.”

The umbran heiress slipped the gauze and medicinal ointment back into her lapel. “Nothing a _simple_ stroke of magic can’t accomplish,” Jeanne said sarcastically. “Magic that has been forbidden in these walls. When I took that jewel from the witch guard, I bewitched it.”

A high-pitched howling could be heard in the distance.

Cereza waited for the wind to calm before asking, “What did you bewitch it with? Was it some sort of ancient forbidden spell?”

Jeanne slipped her hand slowly away from Cereza’s, appearing pensive. Cereza, slightly disappointed, missed the sensation already, Jeanne’s hand replaced by the cold metallic bar.

The umbran witch leaned against the prison cell instead. “It is ancient and it’s called love. It will protect us when we need it in a time of need. Our connection is strong so it worked and bound to the jewel. Thank god. I whipped the jewel instead, which provoked it. The magic knew that I did it to protect us. I was and am serious about us.”

She took out the jewel from her lapel again and held it up to the light.

_Jeanne x Cereza_

She tossed it to Cereza, who took it in her hands, and without a moment of hesitation, melded it to her umbran watch that rested over her heart.

 

* * *

 

She had to face her mother at some point. But when she did she was met with the most rage she’d seen her mother display. And she thought that her ears might fall off from the barrage of scolding.

“You will protect the umbran legacy with your life, do you understand?!” Her mother said, almost in a maniac rage.

“I am fully aware, mother.”

“How you act and who you interact with will impact our fate. It will have disastrous consequences! As next in line you must understand this. And even then you have to prove yourself, we do not let anyone take anything without earning it. We are the proud Umbra line. No impurities! No unworthy blood! No _outcasts_! Do you understand this? Are you listening to me?”

Jeanne floated in and out of her daydreaming. Gosh her mother loved to talk. When her mother went on her usual rants, Jeanne would usually try to tune her out.

“You will not see anyone who threatens the umbra legacy again,” the umbra lead said. “Do you understand who I may be referring to? I order you as the leader of the clan,” she added firmly.

“Yes, mother,” Jeanne said, as she took out her compact which doubled as her umbran watch to fix her lipstick because she had a sparring session with Cereza tonight. “I’m not seeing _anyone_ who is threatening the legacy of this clan. Do _you_ understand, mother?”

Her mother threw up her hands in exasperation. “Leave me. This is going nowhere.”

Jeanne bowed an exuberant curtsy as she left the room.

 

* * *

 

Cereza had waited for the prison guards to drift off to sleep before using the magical key that Jeanne had lent her to escape the cell. She transformed into a panther, feeling the night air invigorating her. Her primal senses heightened. The wind still howled, but seemed to calm the farther she ran.

She reached the field to meet Jeanne. Transforming back into a witch, she approached a red panther from behind, waiting under a tree.

The red panther didn’t turn around but sprinted up the tree and pounced on the other witch from above with a roar.

Cereza backflipped in time and brandished her guns at the animal. In a red blur the panther ran behind the tree out of sight. Cereza waited a moment. Then she started shooting at the tree trunk, forming a heart with her bullets. She walked closer to admire her work.

A furry red tail appeared from above, a writing utensil in its grip, carving something into the tree trunk. Then the panther transformed into Jeanne.

Cereza smirked. “For a second there, I thought you were someone else.”

“Someone else?” Jeanne asked as she backflipped onto the ground. She raised her guns to meet Cereza’s. “If you’re expecting to see someone else here, I’d be best on my way. Forgive me, I’m not fully aware.”

Cereza pretended to think hard for a moment. Then she spoke with an air of assurance, “No, I think you’re fully aware of who it is I mean to see or am seeing.”

 Jeanne admired the red gem stone sparkling in the night before her, resting over Cereza’s heart before saying sarcastically, “I haven’t a clue. I guess you have to complete the message written here to refresh my memory. That is, if you can get past me.”

The heart that Cereza had formed on the tree trunk now had the words

_Jeanne x_

carved into it.

Cereza adjusted her spectacles without her eyes leaving Jeanne. 

And a salvo of bullets erupted into the air.

 

 


	5. wearing red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eyes of Bayonetta art book explains that the red ribbons in Bayonetta's hair are the ribbons used to tie the hands and feet of dead witches.  
> little Cereza wears them in her hair like it's nobody's business.

  
Cereza heard footsteps behind her. She turned around to see a red ribbon hanging on the doorknob of her room. Curious how it ended up there. With Cheshire under her arm she gingerly held up the foreign article for both of them to inspect.

“Maybe Mummy will know what this red ribbon is for,” she said as she dusted it off and dashed towards her mother’s cell.

The sun had begun to peek through the windows of the cold cell. Rosa sat meditating in the sunlight, enjoying the warmth. The sound of familiar scurrying steps came echoing down her way.

“Mummy, mummy! I have something to show you!” Her sweet daughter said excitedly.

Rosa got up to peer around the bars of her cell. Her daughter was carrying a bright red ribbon, snaking through the air.

“Cereza,” Rosa said seriously. “Where did you get this?”

The little girl thought that she was in trouble. “I don’t know. It was in my room.”

“Please give it to me,” Rosa held out her hand for Cereza to pass on the offending article to her. Cereza immediately dropped it off.

Her mother felt the silk. It was newly spun. This ribbon is used in the burial of dead witches. No child should have their hands on this. It was a cruel, sick joke someone had played upon her daughter. She was already treated like an outcast, being of lumen sage and witch blood combined. Was there no end to this?

“What is it, Mummy?” Cereza could see her mother was visibly upset. “Did I do something wrong?”

Rosa felt a fiery rage, growing in her, but she spoke softly. “No, Cereza. You did not do anything wrong, my sweet child.”

“Then why do you look so sad?” The little girl replied sympathetically.

Rosa thought for a moment and then asked Cereza to come closer. She took the ribbon and began to braid it into Cereza’s hair, interweaving it with her thick, raven locks.

“Cereza,” she said while braiding, “don’t you ever listen to anyone who tries to bring you down. There are people who will call you mean, nasty things but you always remember my child: you are special. I love you always and forever. Now you show those other kids how beautiful and courageous your new hairdo is,” she said, checking for flyaway hairs.

“Wow, thanks mummy!” Cereza said in wonder at her new look. Little did she know she was wearing the symbol of a witch’s death upon her head.

The elders found it sacrilegious and trifling at first but they didn’t expect much from the half blooded witch. The children gasped upon seeing it, frightened of her comfort with death and dismayed at the failure of their prank. But one girl thought Cereza was very bold for doing that…and she looked quite pretty. The girl’s name was Jeanne and her favorite color was red—-just like those ribbons in Cereza’s hair.

The matron spotted little Cereza one day with those red ribbons in her hair. She pulled the little girl aside. "Take those out of your hair immediately. Nobody wears such vile things like you do."

"I'm never going to be like everybody else, and I have no desire to be," she wriggled free from her grip and looked up fiercely at the matron as she clutched onto Cheshire. The matron scoffed in disbelief at how disobedient this child could be. 

Cereza stuck her tongue out at her and proceeded along her way.

"Hi, Cereza," another girl's voice sounded behind her. 

The raven haired girl turned around cautiously to see who it was. Oh, it was Jeanne. She was treated like a princess here, being an heir to the Umbran legacy. Cereza always wondered how that was like, always being accepted and revered everywhere one went. It might make someone a snob, she thought, but Jeanne seemed to be not of your typical umbran witch. The fact that she was even talking to Cereza took her by surprise.

"Oh, hi," Cereza said sheepishly. She adjusted her glasses before continuing, "Jeanne."

The little Umbran heir leaned back with both hands behind her. "Did you do your hair yourself?" she asked.

"No, my mummy did it," Cereza said with her eyes lowered, running her finger over the ribbons in her hair. 

Jeanne was silent as her little eyes bore into Cereza's, as if calculating something. Cereza wasn't sure what the umbran princess was thinking, her face was blank as if she was trying to hide an emotion. What a mystery she is, Cereza thought to herself. 

Then Jeanne stood upright and resolutely plucked one of her shiny red buttons off her petticoat. "It matches you," she said offering it to Cereza with a small grin.

 

Cereza examined the red gem-like button, shaped like a square. She ran her fingers across the gleaming edges, and held it up to the light to which it sparkled. She turned to Jeanne to express her gratitude but she was gone. Cereza looked down the gray hallways left and right, but she seemed to have vanished. It was just Cereza and Cheshire.

"Look, Cheshire. Jeanne has given us this pretty gem," Cereza said to her eyeless stuffed animal. And then as she held the button in front of Cheshire's face, she realized that the button would make a perfect left eye. Cheshire needed a left eye. "Let's ask mummy to sew on your new left eye!" 

* * *

 

And so that is the story of how Cheshire acquired a left eye that very closely resembles the buttons on Jeanne's outfits.


	6. Pardon my French.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeanne's taunts in the game include "enough of your shit! you mother fcker! Bitch, please! Die! Begone! Fuck off!" The Umbran heiress has quite the mouth doesn’t she?

The sun was beginning to set, the sky painted in iridescent hues. Bayonetta and Jeanne were preparing for a holiday dinner party, one that was severely overdue because of some unfortunate archangels and the like attacking them on Christmas. 

Through the tall french windows, Bayonetta spotted a motorcycle parked in their driveway and shook her head in disapproval.

"My golden princess!" Bayonetta yelled slightly exasperated as she lit some rosemary scented candles in the foyer. "You've left Angel Slayer outside again." Jeanne's motorcycle was parked obnoxiously, blocking their long, slithering driveway. "The guests need somewhere to park, princess," she raised her voice to call to Jeanne upstairs.

"Come to think of it," Jeanne appeared at the top of the staircase sporting a feather boa and a plastic tiara. "I prefer the title Queen. It suits me."

"It technically is more accurate," Bayonetta pursed her lips. "I wonder how your mother would feel about this. Your coronation was rudely interrupted."

"Forget my mother. That old woman never approved of me anyway," she swept the feather boa over her shoulder. "She died in that same battle against the lumen sages and so did her disapproval of me."

Bayonetta knew that Jeanne was a rebel, but Bayonetta had a feeling Jeanne and her mother were estranged because of Jeanne's association with Bayonetta as an outcast. But Bayonetta would’ve done anything for Jeanne. "Well, now that you’re considered as a kind of Queen to the Umbran legacy…" Bayonetta deliberately paused for dramatic effect. "My, my, does that make me your royal subject?"

Sporting a mischievous smile, Jeanne sauntered down the grand staircase and said,  "Bow down to your Umbran queen, Cereza."

Bayonetta humored her with a low curtsy. The tip of a sword entered her side vision as Jeanne pretended to knight Bayonetta. The umbran heiress said regally in French, “advances chevalier au nom de dieu."

Bayo shot her a look. She was getting really into this queenly business.

“I probably fucked that phrase up," Jeanne said as she sheathed her sword. "I’ve only watched the knighting ceremonies a few of times, so pardon my French. Fuck all these years I've been speaking English I've nearly forgotten my French... Fuck me those motherfuckers are back." she muttered under her breath.

"Yes, Jeanne, your French is grade A classy, spoken like a true mademoiselle," the raven haired witch said sarcastically.

"No, behind you, the angels are back again!" She pointed to a group of archangels in heavy armor descending upon the street. "I was just on the way to get the caviar! That's why I didn't park it in the garage!"

The umbran witches charged out and geared up for the ensuing battle. Jeanne hopped on the Angel Slayer while Bayonetta sat behind her, shooting bullets from her hands and feet, performing acrobatics while Jeanne rode in circles around the archangels. Bayonetta launched herself into the air.

"Let’s dance, boys!" She landed in the cul-de-sac with a bang, defending the neighborhood by decapitating angels with the gracefulness of an Olympic ice skater. 

Jeanne revved the engine and circled the offending intruders, her bullets aiming straight for their heads. 

Another flock of archangels approached from afar. Jeanne and Bayonetta joined each other again on the Angel Slayer and rode towards them at full speed. The distance between the flock and the motorcycle grew smaller and smaller, until the entire flock swarmed and covered the two witches completely. They became a ball of white, clucking fluff riding on a motorcycle towards town.

"Flock off!" Bayonetta said as she emitted a blast of umbran witch magic which blew the archangels away into smithereens. 

They continued riding but the archangels kept coming. Jeanne looked up at the flying nuisances overhead with irritation. Bayonetta hopped off and sliced them in mid-air. She landed and found that they were already in the village market square. Jeanne got off her motorcycle and backed up against Bayonetta.

Another flock of archangels formed a circle around the umbran witches. Jeanne charged towards the leader. "I. will. get. my. caviar."

"Begone!" Jeanne launched it through the window of a local caviar shop. As it crashed through the glass, Jeanne picked up a jar of the finest caviar, placed it on the counter, and dug for some cash in her pocket while Bayonetta kick flipped, twirled, and danced with bullets behind her. Finally, finding the exact amount to pay for the purchase, Jeanne dropped the money and a lollipop for the little girl at the register and strutted out of the store with the jar of caviar under her arm.

No sooner had the shop front door closed when another angel creature charged at her from her left side. "Bitch, please, " Jeanne said as she dodged it and flipped onto the angels back, riding it to Bayonetta who punched it into the air.

Jeanne admired the carnage around her. 

"I’m glad you didn’t forget the caviar this time," Bayonetta smirked.

Jeanne tossed it into Bayonetta’s hands. "As your queen I order you to pick it up next time."

"Let’s not let this queenly business go to that pretty head of yours," Bayonetta chided, "or else I'll have to take everything you say seriously, like how you said to fuck you earlier. And we wouldn't want that, right?" she coaxed as she stowed her guns away.

"I know, there is a time and place for that," Jeanne replied assuredly as she strutted past the raven haired witch and mounted her motorcycle.

“A time...? Oh,”  Bayonetta said, her breath catching. 

Jeanne started the engine and looked back at her. Bayonetta observed how the sun's rays illuminated her figure against the the orange sky. 

"Come now, Cereza,  we won't have enough time... we shouldn't be late to our own party," Jeanne said as she patted the seat behind her while smiling provocatively.

Bayonetta joined her on the back of the motorcycle, arms around the other witch's waist. "We most definitely should not, that would make us _very_   _bad_ hosts," she said with a grin.

"Very bad, indeed," Jeanne said before they zoomed off into the sunset.


	7. can you see me in white?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy matrimony is considered a rather sacred institution. It's not really suitable for witches like us... but maybe a crazy party is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve played the game and watched the cutscenes so many times it’s a bit embarrassing so bear with me; I’ve included lines that they would use from the game. Jeanne is also canonically someone who parties too hard the night before so Bayonetta has to wake her up for school the next day. Also I wanted to explore how bayonetta has tragically lost all the ones she’s loved in her life and how that impacts her view.

The two umbra witches brought back their spoils from their recent shopping spree, bags and boxes scattered all over the living room which barely made the space functional other than for storage.

"Why, Enzo, you've proven yourself quite useful for once," Bayonetta said approvingly as he dropped the last tower of shoe boxes into the foyer. 

"Fuhgettaboutit! I won’t hear the end of it if I don't help!" Enzo said bitterly as he brushed off his hands. Then something shiny caught his eye. "I'm thinking about taking one of these fancy freebies the store gave ya since ya spent so much money, " Enzo started to poke his head around the shopping bags before Cereza or Jeanne allowed him to do so.

"Are we done here, Enzo? I'm dying to see Cereza try on some of the new dresses we bought," Jeanne said impatiently.

"Alright, alright, I'm leavin'," he conceded but he didn't make any motion towards the door. In fact, he went deeper into the house, poking his large nose into bags and boxes. "You know, for witches that seem to live for an eternity you can be real bit--" he caught himself before uttering the word. "I mean, pushy. Learn to relax, enjoy life for once. You know what my wife says? She’s always sayin’ life is short!" He reached into a jewelry store bag. "Ooh, my wife will like this," he muttered to himself holding up a shiny ring, another complimentary gift given to Bayonetta at a jewelry store for her indulgent taste and purchases.

Cereza and Jeanne impatiently watched him with crossed arms. They exchanged glances. They couldn’t care less for the complimentary gifts, they were just sick of listening to Enzo talk about himself all day long. 

"Wow, I think this is worth more than the wedding ring I got my wife! You girls wouldn’t need this, right? You know at the time when I got that wedding ring I was so broke. I spent it all on booze and then this other pretty girl--"

"Take it and begone!" Jeanne said as she shoved him out the door. As soon as he reached the outside threshold, she added "say hi to your wife for me!" before slamming the door shut. She sighed and rested against the door. "That motherfucker talks too much." 

“I know, but he’s  _our_  motherfucking fat Italian,” Bayonetta said with a tone of mock endearment.

“Now, where was I?” Jeanne said dug through the pile of dresses and eventually found the ones she wanted and tossed them to the other witch. “Here, try these on, Cereza.”

She took them, a bit unsure why Jeanne seemed to be so excited about them. She tried on the first one which was a white dress that quite resembled a wedding gown with a large crystal beaded butterfly on the low cut back. Crystals strewn across the the opening. Why on earth would she ever wear a wedding dress? Unless there were some angels to kill at an upcoming wedding rehearsal it didn’t seem appropriate at all for a day in downtown.

“I need help with the back,” Bayonetta called out from the closet as she tried to reach the awkwardly placed zipper and fasteners for the elaborate butterfly backing. Jeanne opened the door and Bayonetta heard her gasp.

“I guess it’s my turn to say cat caught your tongue, Jeanne?” she asked.

“No, nothing,” Jeanne said composing herself, veiling whatever emotion she was trying to hide pretty badly. She picked up the delicate beading that rested on Cereza’s smooth back and tried to recall how it was supposed to look like as it did on the mannequin at the boutique. The raven haired witch’s exposed shoulders were accentuated by a silvery embroidery lining her frame.

“Maybe we should have tried this one on at the store and left it to the store associate, much too complicated,” Bayonetta said as she sensed Jeanne struggled to weave the back pieces together.

“I got it, Cereza, just put on the shoes and step out,” Jeanne said as she fastened the last hook, dashed out of there, and sprawled out on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Thinking. She needed a lollipop to process her thoughts.

After Bayonetta stepped out, Jeanne’s reaction was a bit cryptic to Bayonetta. Jeanne tilt her head back slightly, scrutinizing it. All she did was suck on her lollipop. Bayonetta couldn’t read Jeanne as she had quite a blank expression on her face, but little did she know Jeanne was actually mesmerized at the white vision before her..

The next dress was a one-shouldered red gown and the next was a deep blue gown. Both of which evoked a merely disinterested grunt from Jeanne.

There was complete silence as Bayonetta slipped out of the deep blue gown. She was going to ask why Jeanne picked these specific dresses.

Then Jeanne finally spoke up, “I actually like you in  _the_   _white_  dress…” placing emphasis on the words, hoping Cereza would catch on.

  
Bayonetta stopped midway through changing back into her day outfit. In white? So that’s what all this was about. She leaned against the doorframe of the closet. “...fancy me in a white dress under the alter, do you?" she asked dotingly.

Jeanne replied without missing a beat, “it wouldn't be too far off from my imagination," seeing as the other witch had not left much to the imagination standing before her in the closet...

Bayonetta considered the thought for a moment. “Now that I come to think of it,” she sat down next to Jeanne on the bed. She took Jeanne’s left hand in hers and laced their fingers together, her eyes fixated on the empty ring finger. “ _Holy_  matrimony is considered a rather sacred institution. It's not really suitable for witches like us,” Bayonetta said tenderly as she cupped the umbran heiress’ face.

Jeanne thought that Bayonetta made a valid point. Perhaps living with mortals had rubbed off on her too much. Also, the whole ceremony thing was so boring and then they would need an officiate who would say all these frivolous things. “But we could always just skip to the best part...which is the after party and honeymoon," she said a grin playing upon her lips.

She loved any reason to have a good party, and what better reason than to celebrate having survived hell and Bayonetta regaining her memory again?

Bayonetta liked the idea. “Now you're speaking my language. I do love to throw a good party.”

 ~

Invitations sent out to their friends (and some of Jeanne's favorite students) next day read:

_  
Fuck the Ceremony. Let's Just Party._

_Join us for the official Bayonetta x Jeanne_

Featuring DJ Rodin and Luka & The Gates of Hell Band

 **When** : The Witching Hour, Friday the 13th

 **Where** : D'Arc Private Island, Italy

Not before long on the fateful day all the guests were dancing and grooving in pulsing strobe lights and clubbing-like fog on the dance floor which was outdoors on the beach of Jeanne’s private island off the coast of Italy. DJ Rodin turned up his mic and announced, "we're rockin' the beats on this fine day and celebrating our favorite couple of the millennia, Bayonetta and Jeanne.  _Give it up_  for our favorite bitches! They’ve survived near death and hell!"

Bayonetta and Jeanne appeared on stage with confetti cannons that they blasted into the air above the crowd. They roared in return. Jeanne added some inflatable beach balls that they immediately began bouncing around. 

"Mosh pit! Mosh pit!" they chanted. The island seemed to tremble from their chanting.

Bayonetta was not surprised to see Jeanne happily stretch out her arms and fall back onto the crowd. 

Luka tapped her shoulder. “I never thought I’d say this but I’m happy for you two. Congrats on the wedding, that is what this is right?”

Bayonetta smiled. “Thank you, Luka, but I know you must be thinking it’s not really a wedding in the traditional sense,” she said as she eyed Jeanne waving at her from the top of the crowd to join her.

"Come on, Cereza!" Jeanne goaded as the crowd carried her across the way to the beat of the music. She seemed to be perfectly in her element.

The raven-haired witch found it amusing. This extravagant party with open bar on this exotic island at midnight was actually Jeanne’s idea. It wasn’t your typical destination wedding but she had whipped together the whole thing on a moment’s notice.

“Yeah,but when have you ever done anything traditional?” Luka quipped.

Bayonetta slightly nodded her head, he had a point. Damn, she didn’t like it when Luka was right. After all he had terrible judgement. But she’ll let him have this one, maybe. “Shouldn’t you be playing for your band right about now?"

He saluted her to resume before he spotted another girl strutting by. “Oh, Claire, didn’t think I’d see you here!” he said smoothing his hair as he chased after her.

Bayonetta didn’t jump into the mosh pit and maybe for good reason. Off in the distance there was a circle of birds closing in on the island. Bayonetta spotted them and thought it was odd. Her intuition told her it was something else. Archangels. Lots of archangels. Of course, they’d come and crash their party.

Jeanne propelled herself from surfing the crowd and back next to Bayonetta. She’d sense them coming as well.

“Looks like we have some uninvited guests,” Jeanne said, blood thirsty.

When the archangels came swooping over the oblivious crowd towards the two umbran witches Bayonetta geared up. “Let’s dance, boys!”

~

It was a bloody battle on the beach. Angel blood was shed of course. But Jeanne had drunk too much and was getting a bit sloppy in her attacks and dodges.

Amidst the chaos on the beach, Bayonetta called to Jeanne after kicking an archangel’s ass to the moon expecting Jeanne to respond her usual, “I’m OK!” but she didn’t hear a response.

She always responds.

"Jeanne!"

A paralyzing panic washed over her as she scanned through the fog machine smoke and sand grains flying in the air. She was alone on the shore. Their human friends were still dancing as if nothing was going on around them. The extra gunfire they attributed to the sounds of the music.

She spotted Jeanne knocked out and being dragged into the ocean by a tentacle like creature. It lit a hellfire in Bayonetta. Not today, Satan. She charged towards it, extra disgusted at the fact that it had tentacles. Equipped with durga the fire and electricity blazed from her arms and electrocuted it to death. The ocean glowed and the tentacles shot up out of the water and exploded like fireworks. The mortals "whoa-ed!" as they heard the explosion from the ocean and colorful display. They even popped champagne bottles, spraying it everywhere and on everyone.

Meanwhile, Bayonetta carried Jeanne’s body out of the water, picking off the tiny worm-like tentacles off her body. “Tentacles! Why does it always have to be tentacles?!” she said, recalling her encounter years before.

Bayonetta laid Jeanne down on the sand. Jeanne didn’t move. Bayonetta shook her. “Jeanne! Wake up!” She held Jeanne’s hand, the hand that would have had a wedding ring if they had a ring ceremony.

Jeanne can usually handle herself. What had gone wrong? Partying hard was her specialty. She knew her limits.

Maybe they should have went through the motions. The whole thing. Had a more low-key celebration. No. It didn't matter. She was already afraid of losing the people she loved. They always left her. She couldn’t take it anymore. “Wake up, Jeanne!” she cried all the strength leaving her.

Suddenly Jeanne sat up abruptly as she spat out a bit of sea water. The sea salt burning her throat, she muttered, “motherfucker,” keeled over on the sand.

The relief washed over Bayonetta like a tidal wave. “And you call yourself a party animal,” she sneered as she stood up and took in a breath of the warm sea breeze.

Jeanne coughed and coughed before falling back over.

“You need to rest. Come on, let’s go to the hotel,” Bayonetta sighed as she picked her up and carried her away from the sandy shore and up the trail past the palm trees.

She heard voices in the bushes. It was Luka and that Claire girl flirting with each other. “You were so brave with that bottle, Luka,” the girl cooed drunkenly.

“I know I did that all by myself,” Luka said proudly.

Bayonetta scoffed, definitely not wanting to know the details, as she continued on her way to the glitzy hotel lobby. Jeanne was calmly sleeping in Bayonetta’s arms along the way. As they ascended in the clear glass elevator, Bayonetta watched the eerie white waves lapping on the shore. She could still hear the music from the outdoor dance floor pulsing through the air. The crowd was still very much lost in the music thanks to the enchanting musical talent of DJ Rodin and Luka’s band.

The elevator doors opened to the double doors of their private bridal suite. It was quiet again. She fumbled for the hotel key in her pocket while simultaneously holding up the passed out umbran heiress.

When the doors opened, she didn’t notice in the dark but rose petals lined the entry way. Champagne bottles and chocolate dipped strawberries on a bed of ice were placed in the center of the room.

She gently placed Jeanne down on the couch after feeling her way in the dark. Jeanne was knocked out with sand all over her. Bayonetta crouched down to remove the grains from the silvery hair. “Well, this isn’t how I’d imagine how this night would end,” she said.

Jeanne started to snore.

Bayonetta rolled her eyes. She looked around the room, romantically decorated. Her eyes followed a path of rose petals going from the bedroom to the bathroom.

She crushed the rose petals in her path as she walked to the bathroom, her heels clacking against the polished marble floors. She started up the jacuzzi bathtub which also had rose petals in it. Watching them swim and bob around gave her an idea.

She sauntered over to Jeanne and watched her as she slept to make sure she wouldn’t wake. Her snores growing ever louder. Ugh, she’s even beautiful when she’s like this, thought Bayonetta to herself. Still, Bayonetta carried her from the couch to the jacuzzi bathtub and dropped her straight in. No mercy. Didn’t even take her clothes off.

“Fuck!” Jeanne woke up the instant the hot water hit her skin. Her cat-like reflexes saving her just in time before she hit the bottom of the tub. The rose scented water splashed all over the marble bathroom.

“Look who decided to wake up,” Bayonetta said, swishing the water on the floor with her foot.

Jeanne tried to regain her senses in terms of where she was and what was happening. How did she get here? Wasn’t she just fighting angels earlier? Or was that a dream? She does dream about that quite often. And what was she doing wearing a dress in the bath? By the expression on Cereza’s face, the one where she’d done something equivalent to waking up late for class after partying too hard the night before…

Then the memory hit her: during witch time in a salvo of bullets she spotted an archangel kidnapping one of her students, Claire. Luka was trying to attack the angel with a broken glass of Grey Goose vodka. But then she couldn’t remember the rest of what happened after she tried to save them. The images were all jostled up in her head.

“Five more minutes?” She managed to moan, her customary response to her human alarm clock known as Bayonetta.

“You’re not late to class, Jeanne.” Bayonetta said, “but you know what is ridiculous is you taking a bath while you’re covered in sand and fully dressed. Consider this a baptism for your sins.”

“It’s  _absolutely_   _criminal_  to be taking this luxurious bath  _in_  a sandy summer dress,” she said tracing the rose petals in the water with her fingertips.

  
“Perhaps if you hadn’t gotten carried away you would know that you blacked out during a fight and I had to carry you back here.”

“You have quite the active imagination. I can certainly handle myself,” Jeanne said incredulously as she started to get more comfortable in the tub. She did not like this biting tone from Cereza when she felt a familiar headache coming on.

“Is that so? Would you be so kind as to refresh my memory of what just happened? Take it from the top?” Bayonetta said exasperatedly.

Jeanne lowered her eyes. Defeated. She had no true, clear recollection except for hazy images in her head. But she did remember having wedding day jitters. And that might have been why she lost control.

Bayonetta could detect the guilt on the other woman’s face. She sat down on the edge of the jacuzzi bath tub. She dipped her fingertips in the water and faced Jeanne.

“You have to stay close to me,” Bayonetta said softly. She wanted to add because she couldn’t lose her again but the words wouldn’t come out. Now that the angels knew that they were together now, the angels could use that to hurt them.

“Okay,” Jeanne said fervently. The stakes were ever higher now. She met Cereza’s fingertips tracing the water and laced their hands together. After a moment, Jeanne stood up, dripping wet in her dress and wrung out parts of it.

Bayonetta looked up at her and assumed she was ready for bed. She reached to grab her a towel.

But Jeanne tore off the soaking garment and pulled Cereza closer into the bathtub.

She beckoned her into the tub, but someone knocked on the door. 

"Bayonetta," Rodin's voice boomed from the other side of the door.

Tearing away from Jeanne was difficult to say the least. But she let go. “This better be important.”

Bayonetta answered the door and found Rodin standing there in his usual statue like posture. “Aren’t you a bit early to be clocking out of this DJ-ing gig, Rodin? I thought we agreed you’re playing DJ and/or bartender from sundown until sun up.”

“Sorry to break up your honeymoon here, but I got an urgent message for the both of you. Our friends down south have informed me that the balance of the universe has been a bit off lately. Ever since Jeanne’s little trip to the Inferno some things have been out of whack lately. You notice anything unusual about her lately?”

Bayonetta furrowed her brow in concern. “Perhaps…”

“I saw that little fight on the shore. She passed out. Quite uncharacteristic for a powerful witch like Jeanne.”

So, he was watching from the DJ booth. What was he trying to say?

“That wouldn’t have been a problem for a kickass witch like Jeanne unless some twisted demon did something to her in the past,” he added.

“You’re not saying…”

“I think we both know our little friend Alraune did a number on her soul in the Inferno. Ain’t no witch can get out of there unscathed, Bayonetta.”

She leaned against the doorframe. Well now maybe she shouldn’t have blamed Jeanne for passing out. It wasn’t really her fault. At all.

“Also, here,” he summoned Alruna from his weaponry. “In case you need it.” He placed it in Bayonetta’s hand. “I suggest you keep an eye on her.”

“Thanks, Rodin,” she said solemnly.

“Now don’t you start thinking I care about you all or none of that shit. I’m just here to make sure that I get my end of the bargain and if either of you stop killing angels -–”

Bayonetta reached for the door and closed it. “Goodnight, Rodin,” she said through the door, effectively cutting him off. She heard the elevator ding as he left.

Leaning on the back of the heavy wooden hotel door, she tried to gather her thoughts. She hadn’t noticed she was fiercely clutching Alruna in her left hand. She felt like throwing it out the window and blasting it to smithereens. The sound of Jeanne moving in the bathtub broke her out of her murderous rage.

The umbran heiress had been listening to the exchange. The realization that she hadn’t been herself because Alraune had taken a part of her in Inferno was unsettling to say the least. But the thought that it had been her instead of Bayonetta was all that mattered to her. Drying herself off, she wrapped a towel around herself.

 “Cereza?” she called out to her worriedly as she hadn’t heard her move after closing the door.

Bayonetta perked up, from the sound of her voice she didn’t seemed phased. “I’m coming, Jeanne.”

“No, stay there,” she said firmly. Meeting her at the door she met Bayonetta’s forlorn eyes. “Did you hear what Rodin said? Alraune did this to you…” the look of contempt darkened her face as she looked at the weapon that held the despicable demon’s soul.

“Cereza, look,” Jeanne pulled out her gun and pointed to the words All4One engraved on it. “You need not forget.”

“Jeanne, I know, but—"

“Save the chit chat for later,” she shushed her. Then she dropped her towel to the floor. “Now, where were we?”

 


	8. life guard AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things got dark

Bayo had signed up to be a life guard that summer at the local community center. Sure, the other kids made fun of her for it but she needed the cash and to satisfy her high school's volunteering requirement before the session that following summer. The only thing was that she despised how the pool water made her hair unruly (do you even know what chlorine does to one's precious hair?) and she couldn't have that so she vowed that she wouldn't actually have to save anyone or do any _real_ life guard duties oh heavens no. she didn't mind lounging around in a bikini at the pool anyway as she quite enjoyed people watching.

 

it happened to be that her first day as life guard it was the hottest day of the summer. the suburban town had one pool so naturally all the kids at her school had decided to crash the pool that day. as they filed in, they were shocked to see the girl lounging at the top of the life guard chair by the pool. the jocks ogled her as she sucked on a lollipop reading a book under the shade of her lifeguard chair.

 

Luka, one of the jocks asked his buddy, "hey, who's that?" loud enough to get Bayonetta's attention but she ignored him and watched him from her periphery. she found it amusing that he would notice her now when he would barely notice her in the hallways. but you see Bayonetta was hard to ignore because she was tall and very quiet at school. she did well but kept to herself mostly.

 

a small grin on her face as she turned a page in her book.

 

Luka had just settled down in one of those pool chairs with his buddies when the Girls filed in. the Girls were Jeanne's posse of troublemakers. they were the epitome of femme fatale, smart and great at sports. they weren't snobby but certainly discerning of who they let into their circle. rumor has it that Jeanne’s family owns the school and are top benefactors at the coveted private university in the state.

 

luka's friend, a short guy on the wrestling team with a squeaky voice, shrugged his shoulders as he strained his eyes to see in the blinding noon sun. he couldn't make out who that mysterious girl was. "I dunno, I can’t see her face but she has a smokin' body," he said.

 

Jeanne picked up on the conversation as her group brought their plush towels to line the hard, plastick-y pool chairs. She tapped the red designer frame sunglasses resting on her silvery hair and swiveled around to get a look at this mysterious girl that was attracting so much attention.

 

"Hey, Jeanne," Luka said as he nodded his head in her direction. "You know who that girl is?"

 

He observed Jeanne cross her arms and cock her head to the side. "That's Bayonetta," she said.

 

"Who's that? I mean, why are you saying her name like that?" he said, defending a girl he barely met, hoping to get her attention and maybe some action.

 

"I just find it amusing that a girl **who can't swim** ," she raised her voice slightly and Bayonetta's eyes lifted from her book, "is a life guard here."

 

"How do you know she can't swim?" Luka asked.

 

Jeanne was about to say that they used to be very close friends when they were younger before they ended up going to separate middle schools and their parents had gotten into a row about something, they never knew what and they drifted apart. But she didn't mention it. instead she said, "We'll find out in due time," she said not as a threat but really it was. And she began to quietly plot as she innocently lounged back on her pool chair. without a single word uttered, she held out her hand and no sooner could you say 'teenage hormones' a member of her posse scurried to hand her a bottle of sunblock.

 

"well, I’ll be sure to save her if need be," he said proudly, dreaming of when he'd swoop in and save her as she drowned in the pool and "perform CPR" on her. Bayonetta seemed to be reading his thoughts as she had descended the ladder and sauntered over to him, a floatie in one hand. "and who is this boy who wants to save a damsel in distress?"

 

Enzo, luka's friend, had fell out of his chair as he couldn't believe his eyes. this was really cereza? but she was hot!

 

"the name's luka, don't wear it out," luka said as he shifted his feet, admiring that fine specimen in front of him.

 

she smirked as she glanced around him. "well don't forget to wear sunscreen," she said unimpressed as she tapped a reddened spot on his chest that already started to burn under the sun. his skin instantly turned white from the pressure and back to lobster red. the color change reminded her of a certain cat. "Cheshire," she said, happy with the nickname she had for him.

 

 he seemed slightly annoyed at his pet nickname but Bayo kept walking with all the students watching her. she made her way to Jeanne who didn't acknowledge the bikini clad life guard until she had shifted to block her sunlight. slightly exasperated Jeanne lifted her sunglasses. She looked at Bayo then swung her legs back onto the ground. "Fancy seeing you here. Hoping to fit in some swimming lessons without drowning and making a fool of yourself?" Jeanne said pretentiously and watched as Bayo's expression remain unchanged. Damn her poker face.

 

It was the first time they had actually spoken to each other in earnest since the days of their childhood. "actually, you'll find that I’m quite good at this, so the real question is whether I’ll let you sink or swim," Bayo said, "but people like you will most likely just float on the surface, you know," she said her friendly tone belying the dark insinuation she was making.

 

"duh, who doesn’t know how to float?" one of Jeanne’s posse said. but Jeanne knew that Bayo was referring to one of their childhood games playing witch. They would hold their breaths to see who could stay at the bottom of the lake longest since they had read about medieval witch hunts in which women  who were accused of witchcraft were drowned and if they floated it meant they were witches. if not, they were innocent. Bayo never participated, saying the game was boring. Regardless those times were very good times when they used to play together. Its really a shame they no longer talk to each other on more amicable terms…

And then Jeanne found herself thinking "you’re the witch, captivating us all with your bewitching body” but she bit her tongue realizing that wasn’t exactly an insult but rather a compliment. she also didn’t want to risk Bayo splashing water on her at the pool on purpose while saving a drowning toddler and ruining her hair and freshly applied sun screen. Instead she said coolly, “we’ll see about that.”

Bayonetta found it strange that Jeanne didn’t come up with a comeback. Interesting.

The sun had continued to blaze. On an electricity advisory the townspeople refrained from staying inside in the sweltering heat and hung out in the shade at the park and pool. The pool area was getting crowded and Bayonetta found herself blowing her whistle repeatedly at children and adults breaking all types of rules at the pool.

“No running!” she shouted from her ladder at a pair of children chasing each other. They didn’t heed her aggressive whistle blowing, so she literally leapt from above and landed straight ahead of the two children, startling them.

 She held them up by the nape of their necks and glowered at them, “If you run around, you’ll break your head open on the pavement and you’ll get blood into the pool,” she said, concerned not for the safety of the children but the hygiene of the watery chlorine deposit. “And don’t you dare cry, there’s nothing I hate more than crying babies and cockroaches. I said no running, got it?” and the children nodded their heads fervently. She promptly dropped them back down as they scurried away.

“Geez, not really the motherly type?” one of Luka’s jock friends said observing Bayonetta glaring at the children.

“eh, kids can be annoying,” luka shrugged.

“Alright, Cheshire,” his buddy joked.

Then Bayonetta saw the surface of the pool start to slightly shake. A stampede of children was heading for the gate, a parent trailed them barely catching her breath. The little devils wrestled the iron gate open. Bayonetta pursed her lips as she glanced around and saw that Jeanne was gone, her posse so relaxed and calmly tanning in the sun. She must have started this.

*BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!* screamed Bayo’s whistle.

The screaming children sprinted towards the pool, hopping over pool chairs, knocking over drinks and food. Bayonetta didn’t waste a millisecond as she tossed several floating rings into the pool. The floor slippery and wet, the children started to lose traction. With lightning quick reflexes, she scooped one up after the other, saving them from falling. She used all her limbs to steady the toddlers, even resorting to tossing them into the pool to avoid impact with the pavement, aiming for the floaties. Each of the little children landed and splashed happily in the rings unharmed.

The raven-haired girl proudly stood with her hands on her hips, crisis averted.

Jeanne appeared at the gate to the pool. Bayonetta watched her carefully. As she strutted inside, her shades obscured her eyes, her expression cryptic. Then she found her little area with her posse and sat down, still focusing on Bayonetta the entire time. Jeanne seem to sigh before she completely relaxed in the sun.

With a little spring in her step, Bayo proceeded up to her throne above the water. And the rest of the afternoon was so uneventful that she felt that she was cheated out of a good catnap with this lifeguarding job.

As the sun began to set, she retreated to the locker room to change. A quick shower to rinse off the sticky sun block lotion and she’d be off. But as soon as she stepped out, she noticed dirty footprints on the floor of the bathroom. Cautiously, she snatched up her things and inspected the footprint. It was from a toddler’s shoe.

A little girl came charging at her from ahead and crashed into her. The little girl was sobbing. Bayo asked the little girl where her parents were.

“I don’t know,” she said frightened. “I cannot find them,” she said rubbing her eyes.

Bayo recognized this little girl. She saw her parents earlier that day. She looked her over to make sure she wasn’t hurt. “We’re going to get you home, okay little one?” Bayo took her by the hand and led her out the locker room.

It was dark outside and the pool was glowing a turquoise blue. Everyone had cleared out and it was empty. The girl was still whimpering. Bayo swept her up and held her. “no more crying, little one,” she said. “We’re going to walk you straight home to your parents.”

The little girl nodded her head and rested her head on Bayo’s shoulder. Bayo walked with a steady gait to help the girl fall asleep as she exited the park and walked down the street of the manicured lawns of the suburban homes. Halfway there, she spotted the little girl’s parents arguing on the corner. The mom turned to look at the approaching girl carrying her child. A wave of relief washed over her and she immediately ran towards Bayonetta thanking her profusely. Bayo was happy to see them reunited and it struck a chord with her… suddenly she noticed that she was missing something.

She ran back to the park. The night was unusually warm and humid, she was breaking a sweat now… so much for the shower. The gate was locked. How could that be? She was the only one with the key to lock the gate. Maybe it locked from the outside after a certain time. She had to get back inside the locker room.

The gate was closed but Bayo jumped and pulled herself up over the gate, swinging her legs over. The reflection of the water shimmered in the dark, waves painting the grey walls. A full moon beamed overhead and the stars overhead glittered in the night sky. She lingered there a moment sitting on top of the gate, admiring the sparkling pool water and the stars.

Then the lights in the pool and the community center went out. And it was very dark around her.

“Get out of here!” a voice whispered harshly from beneath her.

“Jeanne!” Bayo said, surprised to see Jeanne emerge from the shadows.

“Leave Bayonetta! They’re going to see you!”

Bayo was going to ask who, but she saw figures approaching. Why was Jeanne meeting up with these shady looking people? Bayo swung over and looked around for some place to hide.

“What are you doing?!” Jeanne said.

Bayo didn’t want to leave Jeanne there by herself. And she wanted an explanation of what was going on at her neighborhood swimming pool.

“If you’re not going to leave, take this and get in the pool now,” she shoved a snorkeling mouth piece to Bayo.

Bayo gingerly took the mouth piece.

“Disappear!” Jeanne said exasperatedly and Bayo relented and took that as her cue to hop into the pool. She indignantly took it and stopped by the water’s edge before slipping into the dark water as quietly as possible. She leaned up against the wall, right behind Jeanne to avoid being seen as the questionable group entered.

One of the men asked her if she was alone and if she had what they were looking for. Bayo could hear ruffling and the sound of coins. Something popped open and one of the other men commented saying it was high quality and worth a lot. More coins jingled.

As soon as they were gone, Jeanne started counting the cash and coins in her hand.

Bayo emerged from the water and propped herself up on the edge of the pool. “Care to tell me what shady business you’re running here, Jeanne?”

Jeanne didn’t look up as she said, “Family business.” The coins next to her glinted in the moonlight.

Bayo looked at the cash and the cat-shaped pool toy split in half next to Jeanne. Family business built on drug dealing wasn’t the type of high nose society business that Bayo and the rest of the school had imagined for a girl like Jeanne. The raven-haired girl reveled in discovering a juicy secret about Jeanne and her family’s wealth. And it was very juicy.  The school would explode. “This business seems to run deep in the family.”

“Don’t act so innocent, Cereza,” Jeanne said using Bayonetta’s real name. Did she say that endearingly? Bayo was taken aback by this.

“Tell me about this family business that the D’Arcs are so invested in,” Bayo said haughtily. She also spotted her keys to the gate next to Jeanne. Bayo surmised that Jeanne stole them while she was in the locker room.

Jeanne paused in her counting of the cash in neat piles. “Why don’t you ask your mother?” she said calmly.

“What?” Bayo said incredulously.

Jeanne wrapped up the cash into wads with finesse before placing them into a snake skin clutch that she’d brought with her. Then she approached Bayo on the edge of the pool. Bayo looked up at her with apprehension, feeling that Jeanne had known something about her that she didn’t know herself.

A moment seemed to pass as if Jeanne was deciding on whether to elaborate or not. She wasn’t sure if Cereza was just acting dumb or she truly didn’t know. If it was the latter, she felt bad for the girl and turned to leave… until Bayo grabbed her by the legs and dragged her into the pool with her.

When Jeanne came up for air, hacking up a storm she exclaimed “Cereza, we are too old for these games!”

Bayo was right next to her, looking at her. “You’re right Jeanne, I don’t particularly enjoy getting my hair wet with dirty pool water. I’ve avoided it all day until now. Now, what did you mean?"

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. just a quick distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Publishing this in celebration of Valentine's Day. pre-clan wars.

 

It wasn't necessarily stealing if it was yours to begin with.

The red jewel belonged to her mother, Rosa, so Bayo naturally had to get it back today. Why today you ask? Well, it was her 16th birthday. If there was any better time for stirring up trouble and righting a wrong, it was today. And no other person more up for helping with her with this task was Jeanne who was always up for an adventure.

”Jeanne,” Cereza said as she sauntered up to the Umbran heiress who was sitting by her cell, polishing a long saber. “I have a proposition for you.” 

The other witch could tell from that tone in hr voice there was something brewing in that mind of hers. “And what could that be, Cereza?” 

“Something belongs to me in the Umbran treasury. If you bring me there I’ll be a very good student in our next training session.”

Jeanne considered it as she tapped the tip of the saber against her palm, the blade was sharp enough to slice her hand open if she wasn’t careful. “Since it’s your birthday Cereza,” she said rising to her feet dusting herself off and sheathing the sword. “I’ll make an exception.” 

Cereza flashed an appreciative smile which quickly turned into a sultry grin. “or you just want me to continue being a naughty student.” 

Jeanne pursed her lips. The butterfly mask on Cereza’s face could not conceal the playfulness and attractiveness emanating from that girl. She fought a familiar ache inside her. “Bitch please,” she quipped. “I have no intention of fooling around with your training. I take it quite seriously. You should know that training never ends. Letting your guard down like you did last time was a misstep on your part.” She reached for the keys to Cereza’s locked cell from her pocket which she had copied from the blacksmith witch. A few turns and some magic unlocks the door.

Cereza watched gleefully as she was let out of her cage. Her heels clacked on the stone pavement with her first step outside the cell and she stretched her long limbs. She repeatedly exhaled from stretching in a way that was almost orgasmic. It was obnoxious. Turning and twisting herself against the wall, holding onto the cell bars as if they were poles to be danced upon...This was hardly stretching Jeanne surmised.

Jeanne looked at her suspiciously after a few minutes. With an upturned brow, the Umbran heiress said “Will you settle down? you sound like you’re fucking—“ but with cat like reflexes Cereza reached for Jeanne’s saber hanging from her waist and turned it upon her, the tip slightly resting against Jeanne’s Umbran watch over her heart. “Never let your guard down, is that what you said?” She said with a victorious grin. “Or did you get... distracted by my little stretching routine?” She said as she ran her hand down the side of her body.

Jeane scoffed and crossed her arms. Then with a wave of her hand she muttered, “hardly.”

Cereza smirked, glancing at the tip of the sword resting squarely upon the black square diamond on Jeanne’s Umbran watch resting over her heart. “Be careful or I might give you a broken heart.” 

“I would like to add while you weigh your foolish options that breaking into the treasury would be absolutely more ...fun.”

Cereza loved the way Jeanne played along with this. She had grown to be very fond of the girl. But she shifted her gaze and cocked her head, finger on her chin as if she was actually weighing the two options. Jeanne scoffed again.

The raven haired witch dramatically shrugged her shoulders and made a motion to return the sword back. But then they heard the footsteps of another umbra witch approaching and they didn’t want to explain how Cereza got out of her cell so Jeanne quickly took her by the arm and lead her to the treasury.

The two umbran witches had crept their way there, snickering the whole time to the umbran treasury. They furtively glanced around to make sure the coast was clear. The guards were rounding about the tower by now so they had exactly 7 minutes to get into the treasury and out.

Jeanne slips an ornately decorated key from her pocket, turns it three times into the locked gate. The lock makes a series of mechanical noises before the iron barred gate swings open. They triumphantly stride inside the room, some areas stacked ceiling high with gold and jewelry. "Wouldn't this make a grand birthday present, Cereza?" Jeanne jests. It was technically all hers and hers to give. 

"I'd imagine inheriting all this wealth would make a person _very_ spoiled, spoiled rotten if I may add," Cereza replies snarkily as she eyes Jeanne. The other witch scoffs and turns her attention to the door.

The raven haired witch eyes the lock on the door. "Well, that was quite simple," Cereza adds as she surveys the gold bars, jewels, and coins stacked up high to the ceiling. Her hands rest on her hips, taking in the immense wealth that existed just within an arm's reach from her. She admires her reflection in one of the jewels before saying, "perfection."

Jeanne smirks, how can one achieve perfection while wearing a veil covering one's face? She wouldn't admit it but it was true; even though a veil covered Cereza's face her gunmetal gray eyes were striking all on their own, framed by butterfly accented glasses. A simple veil didn't stand a chance. And neither did many hearts of witches', warlocks, and men... the thought irked Jeanne a bit. "Will you hurry up?" she asked impatiently. "We have just 7 minutes." She'd seen the treasury about a hundred times. She pokse her head out the gate to check for the guards.

"Now I wonder..." the raven haired witch mutters as she scans all the glass cases of jewels sparkling in the sunlight by the window. Various stones and runes were stacked upon shelves. Then finally she sees the beautiful gem and she gravitates towards it. "Come back to mummy," she coos as she opens the glass case and uses two graceful fingers to pick it up.

Then they hear the footsteps of a guard approaching. Jeanne darts back into the treasury. Cereza quickly grabs a nearby coin and places it in to the glass box, replacing the red gem's spot with the coin. They look around for another exit, but the windows are blocked by the jewel cases. A hiding place, perhaps? The only place was down a narrow hallway to a tiny area filled with stacks of gold bars. "Come now," she said to Cereza hurriedly as she takes her by the hand and leads her into the room and into a corner blocked by stacked gold bars. There was barely any space as they squeezed in shoulder to shoulder with their backs against the wall.

The treasury door is left ajar. They hear the guard cautiously stepping into the treasury. His cloak could be heard brushing against the dusty floor. He looks to the room where the gold is stored.  

"Show yourselves!" he calls out.

They manage to stifle their laughter. Cereza is so close to Jeanne that she can smell Jeanne's red lily fragrance emanating from her skin. The scent intoxicates her.

To their surprise, the footsteps start getting closer. Jeanne curses and says, "what should we do?" Cereza throws her head back against the wall, scanning everything around her, including Jeanne.  "Let's distract him," she suggests, her voice smooth,  her half lidded eyes fixated on Jeanne's lips. "Cover me with... your hair," she adds so provocatively as she tears off her veil that Jeanne thinks she's joking. Scrutinizing the mischievous if not flirtatious expression on Cereza's now exposed face, Jeanne finds herself going along with it -- there’s something tantalizing about Cereza’s idea — and she grows her silvery hair to cover Cereza from her head to her toe.

Cereza looks at the red gem in her hand, thinking of a place to put it for safe keeping. Jeanne sees the red gem slip into Cereza's bosom. Then before Jeanne even knows what's happening she feels... Cereza's lips on hers.

Jeanne reflexively brings her hand to the back of Cereza's neck, pulling her closer as she parts her lips and invites her in. She can feel the other girl smile against her before fully committing, drawing out the kiss a bit longer as the guard interrupts them

"Oh my, oh my," he's immediately flustered, looking away, embarrassed to have caught the heiress like this straddling another witch, her silvery hair covering up everything probably for some privacy. He felt like he should apologize. Before he could speak, Jeanne broke away from Cereza but just enough to part their lips. Without facing him she hissed "disappear!" with so much menace that he ran out of there, afraid for his job.

Cereza leans back, a grin spreads across her face. So that's how that feels like. Jeanne’s hair clears away, uncovering Cereza’s face again like undressing another veil. Her eyes wander over the other girl’s body until they lock eyes.

Cereza's eyes flicker between Jeanne's lips to those beautiful gray eyes. She reaches for her, cupping her face in her hands. She admires the girl before her, the witch who takes her breath away without even knowing it.

Come to think of it, she might even be in love. But why would Jeanne want to love an outcast like her back? It certainly wasn’t in her best interest as the heir to the Umbran throne...She doesn’t want this moment to be over but the diversion was complete and she knows all good things come to an end...

“He’s gone, Jeanne,” Cereza says, her tone saying it’s probably best to end this. But her eyes betray her tone as they convey veiled disappointment. 

Jeanne notices there’s a sadness and a deep longing in the other girl’s eyes. Cereza pulls away but Jeanne hungrily reaches for her and she pushes her against the wall, kissing her harder this time. Cereza takes it gratefully. Jeanne feels Cereza lips curl into an indulgent smile. 

"Now this is the best birthday present a girl could ask for,” Cereza says with a low chuckle, her hands settling onto her waist.

 “Shut up and kiss me!” She demands. And the other girl happily obliges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy valentines day <3


	10. the taste of rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pre clan wars.

"Again!" Jeanne barked as Cereza collapsed, her sword falling out of her bruised hands. Jeanne had defeated the outcast in another sword fight training session outside the umbra clock tower away from the clan. Cereza lay her forehead on the floor, exhausted. No matter how hard she tried she could not outmaneuver Jeanne. The umbran heir always predicted her next move. It was like she was reading her mind or battling a much faster, stronger version of herself in a very distractedly attractive body. It simultaneously aroused and frustrated her.

Jeanne swiped the blade against her thigh to clean off the scuff marks that resulted in landing blows against the pavement. When no sound came from the motionless raven-haired girl before her, Jeanne hesitated before asking if she was alright fearing it might be a trick. "Will you get up?" Jeanne asked impatiently.

Cereza grunted. She slowly picked herself up again. "If I didn’t know any better, I'd say these ruins around us are giving you powers to read my mind and predict my next move." They were in an ancient courtyard surrounded by crumbling columns and walls.

Jeanne smirked. "Stop your excuses, Cereza," she said as she raised her double handed swords. "Come on, you asked for a real challenge. I'll give it to you."

Cereza adjusted her glasses and focused again. The blue sky above had turned gray.

It was no use. Jeanne dodged every attack of hers and unleashed a fury of her own to which Cereza dodged with several back flips. She was backed up against the wall. But before she could leap upwards, Jeanne's hand wraps around Cereza's ankle, thrusting her downwards. Cereza landed on her feet at the very last minute like a cat and skidded to a halt but her balance was thrown. Jeanne took the opening and aggressively pinned her against the wall which crumbled on impact. Cereza fell through and Jeanne lurched forward, tip of her blade just inches away from Cereza’s neck.

Jeanne sighed as she lowered her sword and left the other witch in the rubble. She turned to walk back to the center of the courtyard.

"Why the long face? Don't you enjoy overpowering me?" Cereza bantered as she propped herself up in the rubble. Damn she did a number on her, her body ached... Nice. 

"Again!" Jeanne said with pursed lips. "I need you to develop more technique in your dodging. You are much too predictable Cereza. " And with those words, the rain clouds above them were starting to pour icy cold rain.

Cereza moved the veil off her face to shout through the rain. "How many times do you want to do this?"  Even she was giving up hope.

"As many times as it takes for you to get it right."

"I must say how lucky I am to have such a devoted teacher. I hope you don’t eat your words later if I don’t have a breakthrough."

“Oh, don’t play teacher's pet with me.”

"oh, but I absolutely adore the attention from you.” She winked.

She may have said it sarcastically but there was some truth to it. They had been at it for hours. Jeanne really was not going to give up, rain or shine.

Their swords clashed in a struggle for dominance, each witch putting all her weight and force to break through the now interlocked blades. They were eye to eye. Jeanne pressed forward, Cereza deflected left.

Then she scaled the crumbling walls, charging back. Jeanne saw her coming at her so she swung, but instead of blocking it Cereza dodged and caught an opening, the thing she'd been fighting for this whole time. She seized the chance and tackled Jeanne to the cold wet ground. The impact of their bodies slamming into the ground confirmed the defeat, a rush of excitement came over her, she stabbed her sword triumphantly next to Jeanne's ear, and lowered herself to kiss her.

Jeanne froze. Cereza pulled back, shocked at what she had just done in the heat of the moment. Was it a power move? She rolled off, panting from the training and the apprehension over her partner's reaction. “Jeanne, I…”

The sound of rain became a backdrop.

Then Jeanne propped herself up with her elbows and cleared a wet strand of hair from the raven-haired witch's face. Cereza's heart palpitated as her rain-soaked battle partner touched her.

“And so, the student has finally surpassed the teacher,” Jeanne said with a sly grin.

Cereza crawled closer and said in a low sultry tone, "in that case, I'd like some extra credit." Jeanne passionately kissed her, letting her guard down before taking in the taste of rain and her lips.

 


	11. not all triggers are made of gunmetal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> post bayonetta 2

“Ms. D’Arc, well... umm... some of us were...just wondering why our papers are ....wrinkled and torn in odd places? I mean we hope you liked our work because you gave us all 100/100.” Jeanne’s student nervously asked. She couldn't even look at her teacher in the eyes.

“I gave you full marks and you’re still questioning me on the state of your paper?”

“...you’re right Ms. D’Arc. My sincerest apologies,” she said her cheeks turning a bright red. She wasn't used to her history teacher using that tone with her. She nearly turned into a puddle.

Jeanne softened at the sight of her student quivering before her so she winked at her. “You’re forgiven and dismissed.”

The school girl scurried out of the room to a group of students nervously huddled outside in the hallway. “So what’d she say?” One of her students could be heard asking followed by inaudible whispering.

”she didn’t say...”

“Maybe she has a cat...my cat tears things up just for fun sometimes.” Their voices trailed off in the hallways.

Jeanne nearly laughed at hearing that assumption — it wasn’t too far off.

But why had her students papers become so disheveled? An amused grin spread across her face as she recalled the memory.

~~

Last Friday

~~

Blocking off the roof from the other condominium tenants was easily done. On the door to the roof, a simple sign scrawled in Bayo’s cursive read “warning: demons on the roof” and it was enough to deter any human. Bayonetta unpacked the dainty wrapped finger sandwiches and cheeses from the cooler onto the soft picnic blanket beneath her. The view from the rooftop was spectacular with the city lights glittering before them as the sun began to cast orange hues over the horizon. She could just make out the ocean beyond the city skyline.

The soft glow from a string of lantern lights overhead reflected against a pair of wine glasses that Bayo had set before her. She sat cross legged, hands behind her as she admired the view. A soft breeze tickled her, a leaf landing on the empty sitting pillow next to her. Scents of rosemary wafted through the air from the bushes that Bayo and Jeanne had planted together on the roof.

She brushed off the wilted leaf, wondering when Jeanne would be arriving. Leaving a note in Jeanne's lunch bag to _"meet me on the roof after work <3"_ was probably not such a great idea if Jeanne didn't have time to eat lunch. it was a cute idea to her at the time but not a full proof plan... bugger.

Perhaps it was a nervous tick, but Bayo rearranged the pillows, trying to maximize comfort and view. She glanced at her watch again. Still no Jeanne.

The raven haired witch sliced some soft and hard cheeses onto a plate, arranging them in increasing hardness from the Brie to the Piave. 

Then she opened the picnic basket to pour a glass of wine for herself. But when she opened the basket there were several bottles and she didn't know which to choose from.

Suddenly the door to the roof burst open, the metal door clanging as it ricocheted off the hinges. “You would not _believe_ ," Jeanne said exasperatedly as she pulled off her motorcycle riding gear, "how much traffic there was, Cereza. You would think that for a fucking _Friday_ humans would have somewhere to be other than on the road!" She threw down her folder full of history exams to grade onto the table nearby with a crash and tossed her jacket aside with such disregard it could have fallen off the roof and she wouldn't have cared.

Bayo looked at her over the shoulder. "Did you get the caviar?"

Jeanne pivoted, a blank expression overcame her face. But then she narrowed her eyes. "We already have caviar. I filled an entire fridge full of the cursed thing."

Bayo got up and placed a gentle hand on the stiff woman’s shoulder. "I know we already have some, Jeanne. I was joking." She winked at her as she ran her hands across Jeanne’s arms, neck and shoulders. Jeanne had begun to visibly relax. "I think you need a nice glass of wine and some cheese for your nerves," Bayo added as she massaged the others witch’s tense shoulders.

Jeanne closed her eyes briefly to enjoy Bayo’s skillful hands. Then she glanced around her. What in Sheba's name? Are those picnic blankets set up under the most adorable set of lights she has ever seen? Several pillows and blankets lined the cozy section. "What have we here?" she asked curiously.

Bayo gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze. "You may have mentioned that you'd like a rooftop picnic a while ago so I took the liberty to make it happen...' she said rather gleefully.

Jeanne pivoted around. “Have you gone completely sappy on me, Cereza?" she bantered.

'Took the words right out of my mouth,” Bayonetta said as she proceeded towards the elaborate setting. “Now help me choose a bottle of wine, I had no idea which one you liked so I packed all of them~”

Jeanne sauntered over to the picnic blanket, kicked off her high black stilettos heels to the side and knelt down on the picnic blanket. As she examined one bottle after the next, Bayo lounged on her side and propped her head up with her arm, admiring the silver haired witch in the soft light.

When Jeanne looked up, she caught Bayo gazing at her. "If you ask me," Jeanne managed to say as she stole a glance at Bayo's slender body, "I think all of them are suitable for the occasion."

Bayo furrowed her brow and knelt beside her. "Let's just go with this one," she pointed to one with the words “ _Rosé All Day_ ” etched along the side. Jeanne rolled her eyes at the cheesy slogan but poured them both glasses. As she swirled the pink liquid around in the glass, she turned towards the sunset. She took a small waft of the wine before saying, "Speaking of roses and the like, I received a rose today."

Bayo's eyebrows raised in surprise as she tipped a bit of the rose wine to meet her lips. "Oh? From whom?"

"Probably one of my newly transferred students. I've told all my students dozens of times I don't like receiving roses, especially around Valentines Day.”

Bayo had an amused smile on her face. "Well, you can't expect those human and pitifully hormonal teenagers to know that your favorite umbran witch bleeds rose petals."

"I've received enough roses to rival even the Queen's rose garden," she lamented as she downed the wine glass and reached for a slice of cheese, spreading it onto two crackers. She handed one to Bayonetta while she nibbled on her own. "And I find your use of the word 'favorite' to describe yourself quite amusing given you are the only other Umbra alive."

  
Bayo winked at her and leaned back on the pillows, her head tilted towards the sky with stars that began to twinkle. “I certainly hope all this courtship from much younger bachelors doesn’t actually start to work. I might have to take extra measures to make sure their clammy little hands stay off of you.”

“Really?” She was surprised at this response but she goaded her further. “Come to think of it you might fall for their charm. Last time I recalled you had a ...soft spot for little boys.” She taunted.

“I must say you can’t be serious if you’re counting Loki as a little boy! And Luka _just_ proved his manhood as he cleaned up a bit. Though I still catch myself calling himself Cheshire in my head.”

Jeanne licked off some Brie and cracker crumbs from her fingers. "May I have a napkin, dear?" she asked innocently between cleaning off the morsels with her tongue.

Bayo resisted an urge to lick those fingers herself and handed her a red cloth napkin before leaning back on the pillows. Jeanne nestled next to her, stargazing. She suddenly felt like her eyelids were very heavy, her mind unraveled as words seemed to effortlessly float away.

"For 500 years, Bayonetta, I’d lie awake through the night and gaze at the stars... lying to myself that all these shining stars had to be the eyes of the world for the truth was too hard to bear—-the truth that the only eye of the world that _I_ cared about, the precious left eye of the Umbran clan, I had sunk to the bottom of a forsaken lake and she could not see the wondrous sky like how I ...could.”

Bayo was caught quite off guard. “My, my Jeanne, this one is for the record books as I can’t recall the last time you so openly called me precious~”

There was no response, no witty banter. Apparently, Jeanne had fallen asleep and was starting to snore ever so softly. She must have had a long day.

Bayo carefully shifted her body to not awake Jeanne. She quietly put away the wine and cheese, taking another look at the rosé wine that knocked Jeanne, the infamous weekend party animal, out so quickly. It couldn't have been the rosé -- it was barely strong enough. Jeanne must had been exhausted. Bayo also neatly packed Jeanne’s bag and jacket while also carrying Jeanne down the rooftop stairs.

Bayo ever so quietly turned the lock to their abode and placed Jeanne on the bed. She cleared a silver lock of hair from Jeanne’s face. Bayo then tiptoed over the the vanity in the bathroom and began removing her makeup.

Before she had a chance to completely rinse off her face, she heard the silver haired witch mumbling something in her sleep from the bedroom.

She put on her robe and worriedly hurried over. “Stand Cereza... face your fate... you bleed bloody roses... cereza there are roses everywhere...” Jeanne mumbled.

Bayonetta shook her awake, "Jeanne, wake up!"

She continued mumbling. “Roses... stop the roses...”

Bayo shook her again. “Jeanne, you’re going to be late!

Jeanne's eyelids fluttered open before she snapped into reality. She squinted at the watch on her wrist. “Ugh, it’s the middle of the night, Cereza," she huffed as she settled back onto the bed. Bayo rarely woke her as a prank anymore but it had been done especially when Jeanne came home after partying all night long and knocked out where ever was convenient and Bayo happened to be awake. Come to think of it, Bayo did wait for her all those nights.

"You were muttering in your sleep," the raven haired witch crossed her arms, concerned.

Jeanne recalled the nightmare and looked at the other witch up and down as if to confirm Bayo was in one piece. Fuck that nightmare was reoccurring now.

"Imagining me covered in my own blood isn’t very romantic~" Bayo said as she disrobed and climbed into the silk sheets. "And remember, we went back in time and you didn't fatally stab me and send me into a warped fairy tale version of Sleeping Beauty.  **It didn't really happen.** "

Jeanne lay there in her teacher's outfit on top of the sheets. "It's just a silly dream that re-occurs once in a while," Jeanne dismissed. 

Bayo scooted closer to her and reassuringly placed her hand over Jeanne's. Jeanne took it gratefully. It was rather comforting to the silver haired witch. They both lay there motionless in the dark. 

She eventually felt the pull of slumber and gave in.

~

A ray of sunlight peaking through the window danced upon Jeanne's eyelids. It was bright and disruptive. Will someone please close the curtains?! she screamed in her head. Her hand reflexively searched for Bayo's hand. It wasn't there. She bolted upright, glancing at the empty bed next to her. Wait, no...she was transported back in time to the umbran chambers. The cold stone floors, the iron barred windows, and the 15th century architecture surrounded her. What in fuck's name...? 

"Cereza!" she called out to her desperately.

~

The smell of pancakes permeated the air. Jeanne cracked her eyes open, half-expecting another nightmare but the plain white ceiling of their condominium greeted her. Her arm lay at her side, a palm turned upwards. Her modern clothing was a comforting indicator of the times. Bayo's hand was missing in hers, but she could hear someone cooking in the kitchen.

"Oh my, look who's a good girl awake at this hour?" a familiar voice cooed sarcastically at the door, holding a breakfast tray. It was Cereza, thank goodness. She'd never been more grateful to hear that sarcastic voice. "These souffle pancakes are still hot so I suggest you get cleaned up in the meantime. They'll be the perfect temperature then." Bayo set the breakfast down on the desk next to Jeanne's exam papers to grade. She winked at her before sauntering out the room, humming to the tune of Fly Me To the Moon. 

Jeanne showered and freshened up so quickly that Cereza had barely made it back to the kitchen by the time Jeanne caught up with her and embraced her. "Thank you," Jeanne said, the two simple words belying the deep thankfulness she felt for Cereza.

Bayo was quite surprised that Jeanne was already in her morning robes. Had she used _witch time_ to get ready in the _morning on a weekend_? That rarely happens! Bayo accepted the sudden display of affection from Jeanne given her rough night before and hugged the other witch back. "What are friends for?" the raven haired witch winked at her.

Clearly they were more than friends as Jeanne played with the buttons on Bayonetta's blouse. "The events surrounding those 500 years might have done a number on me," Jeanne said.

"What a terribly long time," Bayonetta said with a slight frown. She wrapped her arms around the silver haired witch's neck. "But keeping the flame alive for our long lifetimes is a challenge I'm willing to accept."

"Is that the case?" Jeanne replied sultrily. 

"But eat your breakfast first," Bayonetta snapped at her like a mother scolding a child. "I didn't slave over a hot stove for it to go to waste." 

Jeanne pursed her lips but definitely wanted to enjoy Bayo's newfound interest in cooking. She turned back to the room and sat down to enjoy the feast of souffle pancakes and a dragon fruit smoothie. As she dabbed her mouth with her napkin, she eyed the pile of exam papers which beckoned her to start grading. Before she had picked up the first essay, a black panther appeared next to her and started purring, its tail curling around her legs. She looked at the cat, amused.  "Does kitty want to play?" 

Bayonetta in panther form rolled onto her back. Jeanne set aside the breakfast tray and lifted the large cat onto the desk before her. "Poor kitty, I have to get through this towering pile of exam papers before I have time to play," she teased.

The cat turned to look at the offending pile and hissed as she extended a paw and swiped them off the table onto the floor like any cat would do.

"Fuck, Cereza!" Jeanne exclaimed. To which Bayonetta simply just groomed her paw, innocently

Jeanne knelt down to pick up her precious students' papers. The panther meowed. 

"Have I been a naughty kitty?" Jeanne heard Bayonetta say from behind.

When the silver haired witch had gathered all the papers in her hands, she rose up and saw a sight in the reflection in the floor length mirror across that nearly made her drop the pile of papers again: Bayonetta had transformed back into human witch form, laying across the desk seductively and scantily clad. 

Jeanne placed the cursed exams next to the raven haired witch. "I think this bad kitty deserves some punishing, don't you agree?" she said, arm propped on her hip. 

"Meow ;)" 

~~

Bayo smiled satisfyingly as she stretched on the bed which had been ripped apart. The pillows had claw marks. Their four post bed was really a zero post bed now. The posts lay snapped on the floor. Feathers cascaded through the air which reminded her of her father Balder and his odd peacock outfits. As a white feather landed on her palm. she blew it away. The desk across the way lay in multiple pieces.

The essay papers were scattered across the floor. As Jeanne slept, the other witch started to grade them herself in bed. The raven haired witch quite enjoyed reading the little teens writing about witch hunt history. 

Before she had read the last essay, Bayonetta watched as Jeanne's eyelids fluttered open. "What time is it?" she asked groggily. 

"Just about time for dinner. Hungry?" 

"Already?" Jeanne stretched her pale arms against the silky smooth sheets and yawned as she sat up. Goodness she had not been this sore in a very long time. "Are those my essays?" 

"Quite bright little students you have. I've taken the liberty to given them all full marks... It's the least we could do," Bayo said as she held a torn paper up with her fingers.

A mischievous grin spread across Jeanne's face as she remembered their... activities. "Oh, I'm sure they won't question that," she said sarcastically.

"what do you suggest then? tell them _your_ cat ate  _their_ homework, hmm?"

"I certainly wish I had a pussycat to eat me instead..."

"Hold that thought," Bayo hurried over to the kitchen and returned in the blink of an eye holding a small container. "How would you like to be drizzled upon with my new sweet apple glaze recipe? I call it my forbidden glaze."

"The only thing forbidden is you not being in bed..."

 

 


End file.
